OCD is a Gaslighter: How to See Through its Bullish*t

While the term “gaslighting” has gained popularity in recent years, it actually comes from the 1944 film Gaslight, starring Ingrid Bergman. In the film, a woman is manipulated by her husband into believing she’s losing her sanity — he dims the lights, creates noises, and orchestrates bizarre situations, all while insisting she’s imagining it.

In both psychological literature and popular culture, gaslighting refers to the manipulation of someone’s perception of reality in order to gain control. Skilled gaslighters make their targets doubt their memories and experiences, leading to deep self-doubt and confusion.

OCD: The Master Manipulator

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is, in many ways, the ultimate gaslighter. Often called “the doubting disease,”OCD sows confusion by making people question their thoughts, memories, actions, and perceptions. It creates a loop of constant second-guessing, eroding self-trust.

Research supports that people with OCD tend to hold specific, distorted belief domains more strongly than those without OCD. These belief domains become a kind of internal filter — skewing how reality is perceived — and often involve themes like responsibility, control, threat, uncertainty, discomfort, and coping. They’re not just unhelpful — they actively reinforce OCD's control.

A Few of OCD’s Belief Domains

1. Over-Importance of Thoughts

OCD's gaslighting starts with convincing you that the mere presence of certain thoughts or images holds great significance. In other words, believing that experiencing a thought of doing something bad (like hurting someone) is the same thing as actually doing it, or that the thought is evidence that the person is on the brink of losing control and acting on that thought. OCD might also scare you into questioning if you “want” those thoughts, merely because they are there. In truth, thoughts are just thoughts. Everyone has weird, intrusive ones. Having them doesn’t make them meaningful. In fact, research shows that people with OCD are less likely to act on intrusive thoughts than people without the disorder.

2. Importance of Controlling Thoughts

OCD tells you that you must have total control over your mind. That’s exhausting — and impossible. Trying to eliminate or suppress certain thoughts only makes them louder.
It’s like trying to shape clouds in the sky: no matter how hard you try, they keep drifting. Better to observe them passively. As Pema Chödrön says, “You are the sky. Everything else — it’s just the weather.”

3. Perfectionism

OCD thrives on perfectionistic beliefs, convincing you that everything must be flawless or catastrophic consequences will ensue. In reality, perfection is an illusion. Okay, listen, if perfection exists, it exists paradoxically within imperfection. Embracing imperfection can be your goal; while OCD may not accept it, you can.

4. Inflated Responsibility

OCD loves to inflate your sense of responsibility, leading you to believe you have the special ability to prevent or cause catastrophic harm. For instance, someone with contamination OCD (who is not sick) may fear that touching items at the grocery store will lead to catastrophic consequences like causing the next epidemic. Consequently, OCD may convince them that not touching these items is a heroic act of saving the world. While most people with OCD understand that this is highly unlikely, OCD's persistent whispers are enough to compel them to act on these irrational beliefs anyway, just in case.

5. Overestimation of Threat

OCD exaggerates danger, making the world feel scarier than it really is. Whether it’s health fears, accidents, or social rejection, OCD inflates the stakes.
A person with relationship OCD, for example, might interpret a minor disagreement as proof that their relationship is doomed.

6. Intolerance of Uncertainty

OCD hates uncertainty. It insists you must know — for sure — that nothing bad will happen. But life doesn’t offer certainty. Humans are wired to tolerate risk and ambiguity and we do so every single day. OCD’s trick is making uncertainty feel unbearable regarding particular themes, so you perform compulsions to try and make sure. Spoiler: certainty never comes. And neither does perfect relief.

OCD — what a jerk! SMH.

How to See Through (rather than from) OCD’s Crap:

• PRACTICE MINDFULNESS OR MEDITATION

  • Observe thoughts without reacting impulsively.

  • A particularly helpful meditation for OCD (in my opinion) is called Shamatha-Vipassana.

• READ UP ON EXPOSURE THERAPY

  • Learn about evidence-based practices like exposure therapy, which help you confront fears and reduce compulsive behaviors.

  • It’s best to work with a therapist who has specialized training in ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention). ERP pokes major holes in OCD’s belief systems — and nothing delights us more than catching OCD in a lie.

• CULTIVATE SELF-COMPASSION:

  • Self-compassion isn’t the same as pity, nor is it ruminating on feelings of helplessness or hopelessness. It's acknowledging that it’s hard to live with OCD and offering yourself kindness anyway.

  • Support from others — especially those who understand OCD — is valuable. Just remember that support is not the same as reassurance-seeking about OCD content.

• BE SILLY, IF YOU CAN:

  • While I don’t lead with humor when working with new clients — OCD can be deeply painful — I do think humor can be powerful.

  • OCD is often relentless and absurd, which makes it a perfect target for comedic relief. I like to imagine my OCD as an overly dramatic actress in a ridiculous costume who takes herself so seriously, she forgets she’s in a play.

  • Someone I worked with visualized their OCD as the Grim Reaper from Family Guy — complete with David Spade’s chill voice and nonchalant attitude.

  • Humor helps create space between “you” and “OCD.” You are not the same thing — not even close. The silliness makes it harder for OCD to scare you into submission.

• LABEL INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS:

  • Name the intrusive thought. See the trick.

  • Labeling intrusive thoughts helps expose irrational beliefs and highlights OCD’s attempt to hijack your attention. Some people find it helpful to challenge these thoughts, but be cautious — challenging can easily morph into a new compulsion.

  • Instead, just notice what's happening:
    “Oh look, OCD is trying to convince me that this thought is extra important today.”

  • Then, gently bring your attention back to your life. No need to argue, disprove, or win. OCD always fights back — and that fight is a waste of your energy.

• INFORMATION IS POWER:

  • Learn about OCD and OCD recovery. The more you understand it, the more clearly you’ll see how it operates — and the less convincing its lies will sound.

Recognizing OCD's gaslighting tactics and learning to see through its distortions can be helpful steps in OCD recovery. With a light touch and specialized support, you can dismantle OCD's deceptive narrative and reclaim your life.

Yes, you can learn to trust yourself again.

Remember, you are stronger than OCD's bullsh*t, and recovery is absolutely possible.

While this blog offers ideas and encouragement, it’s not a substitute for professional care.
A therapist trained in OCD treatment (especially ERP) can help you build personalized strategies, process emotions, and work toward long-term recovery. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re struggling — getting support is a strength, not a weakness.